O abusivo que não sabe que o é.

Pergunto-me
se aqueles que abusam,
se aqueles que dominam a prática de serem abusivos,
estão conscientes de seu comportamento abusivo?
Se sabem são uma espúria humana inafiançável
Se não o sabem, são os piores tipos de inocente.

Acho que por isso eu gosto tanto do cristianismo.

 Aponta a natureza caída do homem.

Sexismos a parte, da nossa justiça ser como trapo de imundícia.

Por outro lado, serei eu boa se agir impiedosamente diante da ignorância do que não sabe da sua maldade?

Se sei que tu não sabes que tu és mal

Mas não sou eu pior se retribuo como se tu soubesse de tua maldade?

Mas como saberá, se eu falhar com minha justiça?

Ruim com ela, pior sem ela.

Hoje eu só queria que a humanidade olhasse no espelho
e quem sabe pra dentro de si

Facing Educational Struggles 06/06/2016

Today I came to back to my previous ''teaching system''. I must use a lot of quotation marks in that case... First class started with a quite an interesting topic for an Anthropology lover, actually... Nothing less than UNESCO and its actions towards overturning culture as heritage of humanity.
I was wondering myself about the immaterial culture -which stands for gastronomy and oral traditions, for instance. My wonders came with the assumption of ''and how about if the creator of such culture want to change it, or ''evolve'' it?'' I know that those actions exist with the best motivation behind: basically in order to protect those traditions that globalization processes does not wipe the new traditions through disembodying process, otherwise it would lost its roots. Thus UNESCO and IPHAN make an effort in order to preserve those traditions of immaterial culture.
The thing is- as I was saying- and how about if they do want to change it themselves. The problem I see with the whole protection aspect is that the original founders of those traditions might feel coerced to make their traditions as a ''heritage of humanity''. See how heavy it is? They may feel directly or indirectly the social pressure to keep the traditions, and because of whom? Because of the humanity...
I still need to figure out whether the UNESCO has authorization from the owners of those traditions or not... otherwise, I perceive their actions as extremely imperialistic, even if they say that it overturning immaterial culture is for the good.

I can still remember when I asked this question to the teacher and he could barely let me finish my sentence... he was explaining over and over again what immaterial culture was as I had missed his point... He was so used to be a teacher and throw informations over and over his students... It is okay... That was not his fault... the system pays him to act like that.

Moreover, I had 3 math classes, one literature and another one physics. I will not deny that I was really excited about the literature one! Have been a long time that I did not listen about Machado de Assis and talk about his works was just so pleasant.

Math and Physics and me... well we never get along very well... so, I am okay with it.

Overall, I miss a lot all the interaction of the classes I had at UWC. I miss the critical engagement of the students. I miss we discussing what was up in the newspapers because it was relevant for life, not because if might be at the Enem* or whatsoever. 

I started to repeat mentally while the time trickled down the clock ''I can not wait to go university, I can not wait to go university, to have freedom to study and develop academic research, and love so much my thesis and intellectual journeys''

''Breath Thaíza, breath! This is just transitory. You won’t be here forever. This is just like purgatory, you got to go somewhere else in the end- and hopefully will be heaven''.

I know that I might be quite ungrateful in my analysis... I am actually very glad by the opportunity that the school gave me to prepare.

The thing that really sucks is the system. My sadness and dissatisfaction are with the system. I dream with university now because I want to discover more stuff, I want to develop my ideas, I want to research, I want to listen to other points of view and breath the atmosphere of constructive- alive debates all over the place.

Here is a cloister. I am not satisfied because the people I see wanting to go to university was never with the enthusiasm that they will find education and all this ideological atmosphere there. I think they might be very surprised when they get there and be really into it. I am optimistic enough to believe that will happen in fact.
But sadness lays in the fact that they don't know how exciting can be to go to Uni because of ideological debates, freedom of speech and so one, therefore, they are really satisfied with this mechanic-passive-indoctrination that happens in what they call ''education''. I am sad that the system does not allow us to be more than that and to aim things that goes beyond this mechanism...

Today I was sad about education in Brazil. Not because we do not have good public education, or motivated teachers or any other status quo critiques of education that exists... I am sad because the school I am in now is a referential of a great school where I live and that's how it works.

Well... I think now what remains is that I gotta dream very very much for the glorious day in which I will see me in the list of approved people to Uni.

*Exame Nacional do Ensino Médio: National Exam to get into universities in Brazil

Bittersweet end of IB 18-05-2016 (Português/English)

 Before anything else, warning to the piece of art below:




Yeah. Finish today at 11.55 AM, Berlin timezone of 18/05/2016.

I just finished my exams today, what make me so delighted. I cannot even think my UWC life is dripping among my fingers and I cannot retain it. 

Às vezes eu tenho esse sentimento de que dá para empacar sentimentos como nós empacamos roupas. A mesma sensação de ouvir uma música de muito tempo atrás que reaviva as memórias do passado. Não quero visita-los agora, mas certamente é preciso escrever, pois otherwise que memórias pra coletar nos anos que virão?

Hoje eu tive o prazer de terminar meu último exame. Um wunderbar anthropology paper. Ontem eu fiquei eufórica quando vi em meio ao emaranhado de palavras no texto do paper 1, as palavras Amazon and Soccer saltaram aos olhos. Um brasileiro tinha que regozijar com um dos fatores proeminentes de seu background.

Mas voltando ao que eu falava. ACABEI. GENTE, IB ACABOU. Não tive que retornar à library assim que acabei meu exames. (Library foi nada menos queque foi praticamente minha casa durante meu segundo ano aqui no Bosch )

''Do you have 5 minutes left to the end of this examination, make sure that you draw a line over all the work you do not want to be read by the examinators.''

The typical phrase being repeted in all exams.

Today I thought... those are not just the five minutes left in which I am supposed to revise the whole thing. THOSE ARE MY LAST IB MINUTES.

Sara, my former math teacher said during lunch that it had a quite metaphorical sense. In addition, if we think deep, she is right. I wish I had been a more interested student last year. I could have taken so much more out of it. If I could have draw a line one the things that I did not want to be evaluted this woud be a thing! However, I am glad that the sense of responsibility knocked in the door at some point during this year.

I am so proud that with my IB I went through a revolution in terms of learning. IB is not just the evil one. I swear. I bet that my UWC would not have as much meaning as if I did not have my IB. Through IB I had the pleasure to study Anthropology and Theatre, both high levels, subjects that shaped my personally in a enormous way that I cannot measure in any previous point of my life. All the classes about Social Structure, Agency, Postmodernism and the critiques of it; the Marxist theory (the Goddesses-supreme and untouchable anthropological theory, because even when its critiques use Marxist terms :P). I am glad that I have done my EE in Theatre of the Oppressed and later on Brecht. Also glad of the portuguese books that I ''read'' in self-taught: ''Os transparentes'', ''O evangelho segundo Jesus Cristo'', ''Poemas de Alberto Caeiro'',’’Contos Exemplares, ''E se Obama fosse Africano'' and ''Cartas de Paulo Freire''. A harsh combination that people does when they are really inocent to believe that they will have time to read everything fully within the two years here. In addition, I will miss the calculator absurdly, since I cannot use it in my national exams. Was a beautiful relationship.

As chaotic the IB was, especially over the second year, I sincerely would have done it all again. 

I loved that experience and I cannot put in words how grateful I am for it, how much I have learned from it.

Without demagogy, I think I have been in a place in my life in which I got the meaning of education fully. Finally, I did not feel as I was an ''exam machine maker''. Finally, I felt challenged to think about what I think and to build opinions. Finally, I went to class because I was full of curiosity and wanted to learn something. Finally, I learned that a grade is a number and only it.

I am glad to finish it, because regardless of the grades in the end, I enjoy the satisfaction that I have done my best and have clear conscience that I did what I could.

Happy to finish and sad as well.

This ''agridoce'', bittersweet feeling that UWC is always promoting is just right there.

ps: without the romantic connotation, this song makes me remember this day and the vibes of the last day.

Here I go again – the blame
The guilt, the pain, the hurt, the shame
The founding fathers of our plane
That's stuck in heavy clouds of rain.

One day, baby, we'll be old
Oh, baby, we'll be old
And think of all the stories that we could have told.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRAMNWzfjcg&index=10&list=RDRkt4xU2wwhU

I might ''pack'' others ''end of UWC vibes'' during the next days.

It is time to pack, they said.

pc: May

Estúpidos 05/05/2016

-''... tu é muito estúpido.''

-Mas que fiz para ser estúpido?

-Perguntaste na hora errada, perguntas-te atrasado como sempre.

-Mas antes aprender tarde que aprender nunca, não?

-Sim...

-Então não sou estúpido coisa nenhuma. Só não tenho curiosidades dentro do seu prazo estipulado, oras. Por acaso devo-lhe alguma satisfação de quando tenho que perguntar minhas perguntas?

question on cultural appropriation

my only question about that is: how about cultural appropriation among people in the same degree or the same sort of social struggle doing cultural appropriation? If are both broken by the society anyways... Wouldn't it make cultural appropriation, okay?

great reading http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/cultural-appropriation-wrong/

Question about mental diseases 12/10/2016

How is a ''mental disease'' stablished?

... I mean,.. Imagine that in some societies homossexualism, for instance, is point out as a disease that needs to be healed; or considering that at some point in our society would get too much into capitalist exploration and terms as workhoolic would disapear, or even worst, the factor of not working would be not just labeled as ''laziness'', but actually as a disease...

How does the control over what is a mental disease is established?

Frustration

If we can argue pretty much about anything,
How about if you look at your academic work and think that it matches the theory perfectly, but no matter how convinced you are of that, your teacher never will be as much convinced anyways. So, why would you try to fix your work, if your teacher wont agree with you? Like never...? :(