Today I had one of the most meaningfull conversations in the campus. Basically one year ''gathering'' as an ''engrafted plant'' in the middle of an ''african group''. The ''latina with african friends''. The ''wanna be african''. An ''african-latina'', that is what I thought and playfully would always say.
I stil need to digest all the things that I have talked with K and with J.
Everything started with this email that connected a group of a bunch of western; white death dude in order to be create a group called SMARTIE.
As in IB English A literature we do not study those names a lot already;
even worst: as the only way to be ''smartie'' was throughout by white death dude from western countries.
I listened to Joy. She was the first one to send that email saying how she felt offended. And she got good reasons for that. She is from Cameroon and studied in UK for 2 years of her life. This year English A course is finally offering Chimamanda -an Nigerian author- as one of the books. Besides that, IB is filled with white classical death dude men. She was correct in the idea that she got offended by what they said! Because that is her perspective. How frustranting can that be to live in an African country and expend her whole life without read the local books? How can people in the world change anything about africa, if they do not read their books? If they do not get into their world and try to understand them?
VERY FAIR POINT.
Another factor was the playing with words: ''the white death dude''.
I discuss that with K. I asked her why the responses were mainly from ''back people''? And instantaneously I assumed that they should take it easy and mock at those things as well in terms of overcoming this.
She firstly pointed out that I would never understand her condition. Because she is black and it has an overly historical exploration behind it. People see her in small details not as her, K, but firstly according to her color. It is emotionally attaching. Especially when this people are innocently accused for being robbers in the USA just because of their color. Because of the fact that they were persecuted and over explored in the past. The fact that people still think -even in UWC- that everyone who is black is from africa.
K starts to point my own prejudice saying that she did not go as a ''black offended person'', but as a literature student, but the fact that racism is so present and were just ''black people taking'', she was targed into the ''black group''.
-What I think personally was quite unfair that she thought I was racist! It had not to do with racism. Whereas, if someone play with ''whitness'', is natural to think that people who are not white will react to that. It just points the color of the person, because of the joke that was about color as well. However, I do not ignore the fact that being black has conotations in it, indeed.
She talked about how I would never understand her fully, because even thought I come from a latino country that was widely explored, I still reast under some privilege compared to African continent.
And I have no right to tell her what should she feel offended for or not. Because who am I to do so, while I am here sitting on my throne of privilege? Who am I to say anything if my identity is not immediately attached to the instinct to point me out as black, because I am?
She said that accept and insult silently is the same as a men who is raping a women and she keeps silent accepting the oppresion.
I said her that use of jokes and mocking was important since its aims was actually to empower people, because those events are so ridiculous, that laughing at them can actually overcome them...
She said that yes! Seeing by a broader perspective, it is easy to laugh. What an absurd to see a 40 years old men raping a 3 years old child? Fine! Laugh at it, because it is ridiculous indeed.
But the point is that people can not just laugh of those things and do anything about it.
The pain is there and just who is in those shoes will understand how it feels.
I am honesty frustrated that I can not understand this ''black universe'', but I am trying. I am really trying to do so.
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